Using Your Clients’ & Students’ space to Heal Is Unethical

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A while back, A “healer” told me “they heal themselves, too when they are giving a session”. A lot of contemplation came out of this interaction. There are several questions I asked the Universe in my process of contemplating this subject.

While I am new to the international online scene, I’ve been a teacher since ’08, a forever student/client & had my own teaching business since 2015. I believe I am here long enough to deliver some findings.

Table of Content
Who & where is healing?
How much do we need to know before we provide a service?
Is your container/service aligned with you? (Are you aware of you?)

Who & where is healing?

As coaches, teachers, “healers”, and mentors, it’s important for us to differentiate “where” we receive our healing. If you are in service, you are not healing yourself through your session. You also shouldn’t be. The source is always the healing power.

I don’t want to make the word “healer” dirty, but unfortunately, there are many unaware service providers out there. In the current level of general collective consciousness, in my opinion, healers are best described as facilitators. Human egos can grab a cup of tea and a warm blanket when sessions are happening.

I want to emphasize this again. No one heals others. Source does. Humans facilitate as a clear channel (This is another topic). The clearer and more surrendered you are about this truth, the more powerful a conduit you are.

How much do we need to know before we provide a service?

We undoubtedly grow with our clients, but the ethical question is “are you serving from your wounds?”

I began teaching when I was 18, so I made a lot of mistakes a teacher shouldn’t have. I will always be open to talking about it, and I also just read an article with an interview with Ann Hathaway (A 2/4 Pure Generator) responding to a comment about “the Devil’s Wear Prada”, and she said, ‘No one should keep paying for the mistakes we made in our 20s.’

Yes. We are human.

Not just on your specialty, but your entire being when You Are In Service.

The term “holding space” didn’t exist when I began teaching the piano in 2008. Since then, I’ve experienced & seen the unconscious trauma mentors & facilitators caused in their clients in all industries.

We all have to start somewhere, and you can learn along the way. I am also not promoting victim consciousness, but the awareness of those-sitting-on-the-giving-end is important. Your clients & students came in to receive. They didn’t come to hold space for you.

It’s valid & crucial to “put yourself first” & “take up space”.

It’s okay to delay & postpone service as we are all students of the Universe.

However, it’s another story to throw your unconscious, reactive, wounded self in your clients’ space.

Is your container/service aligned with you? (Are you aware of you?)

If you are running a pity party, be honest about it. The spiritual community sometimes packages it as a “sister circle”, but everyone has a different definition of what “sisters” are, so how you project your words require a decent level of self-awareness. Labeling your service correctly is your responsibility.

People won’t expect a funeral when the front says amusement park.

I’ve always been a committed teacher & guide. I’ve built a strong coaching policy over the years. I try to catch and correct myself as soon as I realized I was being reactive rather than receptive. My clients are also the kindest souls – We consciously co-created more space to adjust.

You can try to suppress or pretend a reaction didn’t happen, but the sensitive, aware ones can feel it. They will either walk away or keep getting conditioned by you. Be aware that your clients are not your sanctuary. If you desire a space to hold yourself, the very powerful healers, coaches, and mentors create their own instead of using another human unconsciously.

Unconscious interactions potentially perpetuate more unconsciousness.


In my book, it’s important for people who assume themselves as mentors or leaders to have this skill – The skill of radical self-awareness. This is far from people-pleasing. It’s learning to hold yourself accountable. It’s also preventing you to be “called out” all the time. It’s being radically transparent about yourself, and It’s also energetic integrity.

Love yourself is important but being honest with yourself in every moment is foremost crucial. Having clear boundaries on how your services look on all ends as much as you can BEFORE you offer your service is a priority.

Learning on the job is not a crime, but coaching & healing is a service. It’s not for you to have your ego excursion. Your capacity to receive constructive criticism is the turning point for you to expand as a service provider.

Benefited from my studies & insights?